As I was sorting through some old photo albums yesterday I came across this picture of Aidan and I. It was taken more than three years ago when we were at the boardwalk with my parents, before I became a single mom. It was one of the last moments I really felt like myself.
Yes, that big cheesy grin I’m sporting is totally real.
This was the last summer my family was still intact.
In those days, I was an amazing mom. I was so completely in love with my son. He changed my life in such a profound way as my relationship with him showed me the true meaning of unconditional love. Everything I did and every decision I made revolved around him. I had patience. I had energy. I was playful. I had not a care in the world aside from being the best mother I could be.
Then nine months later I became a single mom and everything changed, when a dozen other worries came crashing down on my shoulders. I became irritable and anxious. It was hard to focus on being a mom with so many new distractions. And the distractions haven’t stopped.
I haven’t been an amazing mom for quite some time.
But I want to get back there, and I know I can. That’s why the first four weeks of The Fabulously Single Project are about learning how to rock single mommyhood.
Here are my goals for week one of my Fabulously Single Project, which will focus on putting the fun back in motherhood.
Be more playful with my son. I truly believe the fact that I used to be extremely playful and goofy from the time Aidan was an infant until he was about four years old, is the reason why he’s such a happy and light-hearted little boy. His smile is the biggest when I forgo worrying about everything that needs to be done around the house for being ridiculously silly with him, so my goal is to do just that when he’s with me this Thursday – Sunday. Of course, I know realistically there will be things that require my attention during those four days, so let’s set my goal to focus on playing with Aidan from 6pm til bedtime Thursday and Friday, and from 2pm til bedtime on Saturday and Sunday.
Do a family project. I’m often reluctant to take on a project with my son because it takes more time, planning, and patience than when I do it myself, but I realize these projects are a highlight of childhood. Some of my fondest memories from my own childhood were when my mother and I made something together, so this weekend I intend to plan and complete a family project with Aidan.
Get outside and play. Aidan prefers video games, Legos, and TV to playing outside, and while I usually don’t force him to get outdoors because I’m not a big outdoors fan myself, I know I need to. Since winter is coming and we’ll be stuck inside, I’d like to take advantage of the warm fall weather we have left by getting outside and doing something physical with him. We have a bat and ball sitting in our garage collecting dust, so this weekend this single mom intends to play a game of baseball with Aidan.
6 comments
1 ping
singlemama CC says:
October 17, 2011 at 5:04 PM (UTC -5 )
I wish you could see the grin on my face right now….I’m proud of you Mel….now, let’s rock the shit outta this motherhood bit
#assslap
XOXOX
Leila (Don't Speak Whinese) says:
October 17, 2011 at 5:13 PM (UTC -5 )
I’m so fucking proud of you!
Mimzy Wimzy says:
October 18, 2011 at 10:48 AM (UTC -5 )
You are inspiration.
Alicia @MommyDelicious says:
October 19, 2011 at 10:58 PM (UTC -5 )
I’m SOOOO proud of you. You really are gonna ROCK it! Once again. Just like before. Only this time, it’ll be better.
I wrote a little note on my site a little while back and reading this post made me think of it: http://www.mommydelicious.com/2011/08/on-learning-to-be-alone.html
Check it out if you get a chance.
Alicia @MommyDelicious says:
October 19, 2011 at 11:03 PM (UTC -5 )
BTW… my son’s name is Aiden too. Great minds really DO think alike
Patty at A Day in My NYC says:
October 20, 2011 at 2:20 PM (UTC -5 )
You’re off to a great start!
Week One Recap: Putting The Fun Back In Motherhood | Sex, Lies & Bacon says:
October 23, 2011 at 4:35 PM (UTC -5 )
[...] one of The Fabulously Single Project was a real challenge. Although this week was meant to focus on my role as a single mother by putting the fun back in motherhood, there were some not so fun moments as well. Like when I had to learn how to talk to my son about [...]