A lot of people have asked me how to get over a break up. While I’m no therapist I’m definitely an expert on being a dumpee. I haven’t had a ton of breakups, but the ones I have experienced have been soul crushing enough to earn me the right to give you some break up advice.
So here I go.
How to get over a break up, Mely style.
It seems like every time I start dating someone new, people jump up and down to congratulate me. I’m sure most single moms and single women of my age are greeted with the same cheering squad when a new love interest enters their life.
“I’m so happy for you!”
“You deserve it!”
And then when the inevitable brush off or breakup occurs people run to console me.
“I’m so sorry!”
“You can do SO much better!”
Which is all fine and well, but maybe the world is doing things backwards.
Why doesn’t anyone ever congratulate me on becoming single? After all, being single is pretty fucking awesome. I’ve grown more, experienced more and seen more in my single life than I ever could’ve in my coupled one.
Singleness comes with the amazing gift of freedom. What you do with that freedom decides your fate.
You can mourn a breakup or you can embrace it by doing all those things you couldn’t do while you were part of couple.
Maybe you wanted to learn a new language but didn’t have the time because you were too busy doing all the things that your significant other wanted to do.
Maybe you wanted to travel somewhere but couldn’t afford a hotel and airfare for two.
Maybe you hated your job but couldn’t switch careers because your spouse wouldn’t let you.
Maybe you wanted to make new friends but your boyfriend was controlling and never let you go out without him.
Maybe you wanted to have sex on a park bench but your girlfriend wasn’t into possible bench-burn.
Whatever you wanted to do, make a list and a plan to do it while you’re single. And don’t stop crossing until you’ve crossed EVERYTHING off that list.
Busy yourself by doing the things you love and I guarantee you won’t spend a minute thinking you’re missing out on anything because you’re single. You might even discover you’re complete all by yourself.
If you never wanted to do anything before, pick some things now.
Find or pursue your passion and fall in love with yourself all over again, or first the first time, while you do.
I’m not saying there won’t be shitty times, lonely times, times where you want to run back to your ex, times that you actually do run back to your ex and realize it was a mistake, or times where you just need to drown your sorrows in a bottle of vodka, pull the covers over your head and call it a day, because there will be.
The key is to pick yourself back up after those times and remember how fucking lucky you are to be single.
Want to know how to get over a break up? Don’t live in the past. Run towards your fabulously single future.
Happy breakup to you!
