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The above picture is the front of my business card. The quote is by Judy Ford, a woman whose words played a large part in changing the way I looked at myself as a single woman.
There’s not a doubt in my mind that I would not be as fabulous as I am today had fate not stepped in and placed her book in front of me at my local library as I scoured the self-help section, depressed, scared and feeling desperately alone six months after my separation.
As I wandered the shelves that day, I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking for.
A distraction.
Some inspiration.
Something to fill the gaping void my ex had left in my heart.
Maybe all of the above.
At that time I wasn’t Mely.
Back then I was a less confident and more broken version of she; the type of co-dependent woman who was terrified to be alone because she never had been.
A woman who had yet to realize there was a beautiful, witty and sexy creature dying to claw its way out of her.
The truth is, I didn’t know who I was without a man to use as a mirror. I’d spent the last 15 years of my life dating because I didn’t know how to be content by myself, judging my worth by the male company that I kept.
Unfortunately for me I kept some shitty company.
Fairytales, movies and 3/4 of society had led me to believe I was half of a whole, leading me on a seemingly endless journey searching for another person to cure my loneliness.
I never felt satisfied, despite several joys that came into my life, because I didn’t think I could be until I found the missing piece that would turn my half into a whole.
In those days I thought being a single woman and a single mother was a death sentence; that I’d spend the rest of my days chained to a life filled with struggle, mediocrity and loneliness.
“Single is not a condition to be cured – it’s just as natural as being part of a couple.”
Then I read Judy Ford’s book, “Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent” and every fear and negative thought I ever had about being single washed away when her words inspired me to become the woman I’d always wanted to be, yet never could living my life attached to another person.
“Singleness shakes and shoves us into taking the leap from wanting someone to being someone.”
The moment I read those words something shifted inside me. My singleness became a gift with wings that taught me how to fly after a lifetime of timidly keeping my feet on the ground.
*******
Here’s the thing Cinderella, Snow White and Jerry Maguire…
We’re not all half of a whole.
Some of us are lucky enough to be complete all by ourselves.
I complete me.
Judy Ford taught me so.
3 comments
2 pings
Sunny says:
January 17, 2012 at 4:36 PM (UTC -4 )
Great post. I love that quote.
singlemuch says:
January 18, 2012 at 12:46 PM (UTC -4 )
Great post!! I’m definitely going to have pick up a copy of this book. btw fantastic cupcake photo!! :p
cancan says:
January 20, 2012 at 3:25 AM (UTC -4 )
high five, i wrote a love letter to myself this week too!
xoxo
Happy Breakup To You! How To Get Over A Break Up » Sex, Lies & Bacon says:
January 19, 2012 at 9:01 AM (UTC -4 )
[...] Busy yourself by doing the things you love and I guarantee you won’t spend a minute thinking you’re missing out on anything because you’re single. You might even discover you’re complete all by yourself. [...]
The Woman I've Become » Sex, Lies & Bacon says:
March 11, 2012 at 12:55 PM (UTC -4 )
[...] I shed a few tears for losing everything I ever thought I wanted, but gaining everything I truly needed. [...]