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It’s been almost five months since I took myself out of the dating game. I’d been dating for two years prior, but for all the wrong reasons.

I dated because I thought it was what I was supposed to do to get over my ex, even though I knew I wasn’t ready. I dated because attention from men, no matter how cheap and tawdry, made me feel better about myself. I dated not because I wanted to find love, but because I was lonely.

In the last few months I’ve grown leaps and bounds while I learned how to love myself again. I’m no longer lonely or looking for a man or an 8-inch penis to be my mirror or fill a void inside of me. I’m now my own mirror, and that void has been replaced with friends, family, a career, hobbies and activities that I love.

I’m not desperately grabbing for a person, place or thing to make me happy anymore. I truly am happy.

And that’s how I know I’m ready to get off the block, face my fear of falling in love and start dating again.

Or just having sex again. That would work too.

Being the social media maven that I am, I meet a lot of interesting men online. This often leads to flirting, but rarely goes any further. I’m not sure why I don’t take things offline more often since it’s really the only way you can truly tell if there’s chemistry.

You can certainly be attracted to someone’s profile picture and witty banter online but it’s not until you’re face to face, or sucking face, that you know there’s potential there.

Butterflies and wet panties don’t happen online. OK, maybe the wet panties do but it takes an honest to goodness date where you get to know one another and look into eachother’s eyes for real sparks to fly.

HowAboutWe.com is the only dating site I know of that leads with a date because, get this, they actually WANT YOU TO GET OFFLINE AND SUCK FACE!

So today I reactivated my HowAboutWe.com account in an effort to makeout more often. I’m just teasing. As much as I love making out, I’d also like to meet a cool guy that makes me laugh, can be my best friend AND can wet my panties.

He also needs to not be a jerk to my kid. EVER.

You might remember me trying HowAboutWe.com before.

You know, that time I made that video with my HowAboutWe suitors, when we played the Dating Mely Game and I trusted you people to pick a decent date for me?

Boy did that backfire.

Needless to say, this time I’m not letting you assholes pick my date.

I say that with love.

Turns out I couldn’t have picked a better time to get back into the dating scene since HowAboutWe.com is currently offering 33% off all of their subscriptions.

If you want to get back in the dating game with me, click the following link and enter promo code vdaylove: Chemistry Happens Offline with HowAboutWe

Not ready to date but want the chance to win cash from HowAboutWe.com? All you have to do is create a short video that expresses what “Chemistry Happens Offline” means to you and you could win $1500! Contest runs until March 24th and all the details and rules are HERE.

Creator of the video with the most “likes” will be declared the Grand Prize winner. An additional $500 “Staff Pick” prize will be awarded for the best liked video among HowAboutWe staff.

Too shy to make a video? You can still have fun voting for the others! Check them all out HERE.

Need some inspiration to vote or enter? Here’s my “Chemistry Happens Offline” video:

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post. No request to share any particular point of view was made. All opinions expressed here and in the above video are strictly my own.

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Picture this: It’s 4pm on Valentine’s Day. I just signed off of work for the day to get ready for my trip to NYC for a drag queen filled celebration of love, when I receive an email from my dear friend Sherri over at Single Edition Media with the subject line TV Opp, asking me if I can get into the city for 8am the next day for a possible appearance on WPIX Morning News.

Initial reaction: “Holy balls I might be on TV?!?!”

Second reaction: “Shit, does this mean I can’t drink and make questionable life choices tonight in the name of being fabulously single on Valentine’s Day since I’ll have to be up at 5am to get dressed and catch the bus to Port Authority for a TV APPEARANCE?!”

By the way here is a pic from last night’s Valentine’s festivities at LIPS NYC, which deserves an entire post because it was so Vag-tastic!

Why yes, that is a fabulous balloon vagina on my head.

Back to my story…

Third reaction: “TV APPEARANCE.”

Ok at this point I just like saying it because it is so freaking awesome. I mean how many times does a bacon-loving girl like me get the chance to be on TV?

Plus I hope my ex comes across this and sees the girl he twice chewed up, spit out and left with nothing, got up, dusted herself off, put on some fabulous boots and made an amazing life for herself that involved a TV APPEARANCE THIS MORNING!

So by now you’ve probably realized that I WAS ON TV THIS MORNING.

And here is a link to the appearance where I talked on WPIX about dating as a single mom:

Dating Advice For The Single Parent

The segment was only a few minutes long and was over in the blink of an eye, but it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. To have the opportunity to sit down with Sukanya Krishnan from WPIX Morning News and give dating advice to single parents was so surreal and fabulous and I will never forget it.

Hopefully my fabulous boots and I will get back to their studio again soon.

I also made a brief appearance at the closing of the show so I’m working on digging up a clip of that for you guys as well.

I’d like to dedicate my appearance on WPIX today to all of the single moms out there who are currently broken and lost; who feel scared and alone and are afraid to move or dream.

Dreams do come true. WPIX could happen to you!

One sexy boot in front of the other… XOXO

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Ladies: How many times have you received a bouquet of roses from a man in your lifetime? I’d say the average woman has received them at least once, even if they were the cheap kind your man picked up from the local gas station at 2am in a lame attempt to make you forget about something shady he had done.

Here’s some advice, fellas. If you want to sweep a woman off her feet this Valentine’s Day or get her to forgive you for that incriminating photo she found on your iPhone of you and Candy the stripper from Bill’s bachelor party, you’re going to have to do better than those gas station roses or 1-800-(overly-priced and dead the next day)FLOWERS.

Take my advice. If you’re in the NYC Metro area, buying a woman a simple, beautiful, Parisian style, bouquet of roses from NYC Florist  Ode à la ROSE this Valentine’s Day is sure to get you laid. Or at least out of the dog house.

Ode à la ROSE was recently started by two swoonerific French men, who turned to roses throughout the years to seal the deal after a date, melt their mothers’ hearts and yes “help detract women from their bad actions”.

Apparently they had some incriminating stripper photos to explain as well…

Once they moved to New York, Olivier and Louis realized that it was impossible to get a simple and sweet bouquet of singularly beautiful roses in America. There was no reliable corner flower shop and no delivery service that offered perfectly cut, boutique-level roses that didn’t break the bank or die the next day… and so, Ode à la ROSE was born.

These gorgeous rose bouquets are hand-delivered the same day they are created to ensure long lasting freshness. A photo of the bouquet is taken right before it is placed in their signature Ode à la ROSE gift box for delivery and emailed to the sender along with the exact delivery time. You don’t get that kind of service from any other New York Florist!

The gift boxes themselves are ridiculously adorable, romantic, and fun, with the phrase “Aren’t you the lucky one!?” printed on the side.

Hell yes you are if a man sends you fabulous Valentine’s Day roses from Ode à la ROSE!

With several different styles and colors to choose from, any man is sure to find the perfect rose bouquet at Ode à la ROSE for Valentine’s Day, or any day for that matter!

Want 10% off your order for Valentine’s Day? For a discount on all Ode à la ROSE products, “like” Ode a la Rose on Facebook to receive your super special promo code.

French-Inspired with New York service. Ode a La Rose delivers what women want for Valentine’s Day!

Disclosure: I received compensation for this post. No request to share any particular point of view was made. All opinions expressed here about these gorgeous flowers and men taking pictures with strippers named Candy are strictly my own.

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Picture this. It’s 7:35 am on a cold Thursday morning. A ridiculously hot single mom (that’s me, by the way) grabs her coat and coffee and heads outside to meet her 6-year-old son at the bus stop, just as she normally does every morning he is with his Dad.

She stands on the corner and sips her coffee, chatting with the neighbors as the other children run around them while waiting for the bus, impatient to give her son a hug since she hasn’t seen him since yesterday. It’s now 7:42 am, the bus will be there any minute, and her ex has yet to show up with their son. Typical behavior. Most days he doesn’t even make it to the bus stop and ends up chasing it down somewhere along its route or just dropping their son at school.

This whole scenario causes this single mom more stress than you can imagine. The worry over whether her son will make it to the bus stop or even make it to school ruins most of her mornings. Three days per week this anxiety is part of her routine.

That’s no way to start a day, is it?

Today this single mom decided to make a change in her morning routine. After she came inside from her anxiety filled stint at the bus stop, she sat down at her laptop with her cup of coffee and logged onto Gaiam TV with the hopes of finding peace despite her ex.

Gaiam TV is the first streaming video subscription service made for individuals who are interested in health, wellness, yoga, fitness and personal development. Basically Gaiam TV is like Netflix for people who want to find their happy!

With over 2,000 yoga videos, fitness videos, health videos and wellness videos, Gaiam TV’s library of award-winning videos is available anytime, anywhere. You can stream Gaiam TV on your personal computer, iPad and smartphone!

Is physical fitness your thing? Gaiam TV’s yoga and fitness studios are flexible and simple to use. You can customize your workouts for weight loss, total body sculpting or increased energy and narrow down your options based on level, style, instructor and the amount of time you have. Perfect for busy single women like me!

With Gaiam TV, you can easily search for videos, make playlists and preview selections. Plus, you can rate and review Gaiam TV titles for other users. You can even get your ohm on with top instructors like Rodney Yee, Seane Corn, Jillian Michaels, Mari Winsor and Kathryn Budig.

This morning I decided to watch Deepak Chopra’s Happiness Prescription Video because I desperately needed a side of happiness with my coffee. During the video Dr. Chopra revealed 10 how-tos to happiness including: How to get rid of negative thoughts; How to stay centered and more consciously aware; How to effectively handle stress; How to grow rewarding relationships; How to build fulfillment in life.

By the end of the video I had a smile on my face and a bunch of new exercises and tools to work on maintaining that smile despite the douchetastic tendencies of my ex. I highly recommend watching it!

Want to watch Deepak Chopra’s Happiness Prescription Video or one of the other 2,000 titles to find your happiness with Gaiam TV? Gaiam TV is offering a free 10-day trial. After your ten days are up, it’s $9.95 per month to stream unlimited content. The subscription to Gaiam TV is no strings attached; there is no commitment, and  you can cancel at anytime.

Go ahead! Stick it to your ex and find your happy!

Disclosure: This post is based on my experience during my free trial of Gaiam TV. I also received compensation for this post. No request to share any particular point of view was made. All happy opinions expressed here are strictly my own. 

Continue reading »]]> Pimpin’ nutritious food to a child ain’t easy, especially when you’re a busy single mom like me. To be honest, convincing myself to eat nutritious food hasn’t been easy either since I’ve had little time for meal planning lately.

With a full time job, blogging, writing a book, raising my son, and trying to maintain my current relationships and social life, this single mom has been feverishly juggling it all but dropping the healthy eating ball.

And then I met the Scrummylicious Meal Planner from The Victoria Chart Company last week and the clouds parted and tiny little angels yielding nutritious dinners sang; and this single mom finally felt like she might be able to get a grip on meal planning without ripping her hair out.

I’d already experienced the awesome that is The Victoria Chart Company when I started using their My Credit Chart(which I HIGHLY recommend for teaching responsibility) with my son back in October while attempting to become “The Organized Mom” so I was extremely excited to try their new meal planner.

Though you can use the Scrummylicious meal planner to tackle three meals a day, seven days a week, I decided to start with dinners since that is the area my son and I needed the most help.

The thing is my son is a picky eater so it’s basically impossible to prepare one dinner that we both will eat unless it’s pizza. That’s been a major part of my struggle and the reason I usually just throw a plate of chicken nuggets at him every evening he’s with me.

Feel free to judge me. I totally do and that’s why I’ve been hoping to make a change.

This week using the Scrummylicious Meal Planner I was able to get more than just chicken nuggets in his belly. And I was even able to make some fresh and healthy dinners for myself instead of  eating the usual frozen dinners or bag of chips that I have been consuming for convenience.

AND I actually saved about $12 on meals this week by planning them in advance. I also saved myself from a few gray hairs since my stress level regarding dinners was at an all time low.

This awesome meal planner comes with a dry erase marker and sticky pads for the wall. I placed mine in my bedroom next to my desk where I spend 80% of my time working and it would always be in view.

In addition to spaces to write down your meals for seven days, it has a special section for your grocery list and even space to write notes in case there are family activities that you need to stay on top of.

At $5.99 you can’t beat the price for this simple to use and efficient meal planner. I highly recommend it to my fellow single moms. If you’re as busy as me and looking to improve the way your family eats it’s a great tool to do so.

Want to win one? I’m giving one away! Simply leave me a comment below telling me why you need a Scrummylicious Meal Planner from The Victoria Chart Company for your entry. Winner will be randomly picked on Wednesday February 15th 2012.

Good luck!

Edit: Contest has been extended until noon on Wednesday February 22nd 2012 because I said so!

Disclosure: This post is based on my experience using the Scrummylicious Meal Planner, which was given to me by The Victoria Chart Company. No request to share any particular point of view was made. All opinions expressed here are strictly my own.

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As a single mom I’m forever on a tight budget. That’s why saving money on booze makes my heart sing — and drunkenly sing it did when I concocted a brilliant plan to smuggle a bottle of Exclusiv Moscato onto my hour long train ride so my friend and I could pregame before having to spend our money on overpriced drinks in NYC.

As cheap and devious luck would have it, one bottle of Exclusiv Moscato fits perfectly into two empty water bottles. Who knew?

Like wine? Like to spend less than $10 on a bottle? Like to get a good buzz on?
Then you’ll L-O-V-E Exclusive Moscato Sparkling Rose Wine.

From the makers of Exclusiv Vodka, this sparkling rose wine is light, delicious and fruity, and was the perfect accompaniment to our train ride. Not too sweet and not too tart, it was just the right mix of flavors. It definitely didn’t taste like a bottle with a low pricetag.

Better than any other sparkling wine I’ve ever tried, it left no aftertaste in my mouth and packed a nice sized punch as far as happy buzzes go.

I had the equivalent of two glasses during our 60 minute ride and by the time we reached NY Penn Station I had a huge smile and a case of the giggles, but was still able to navigate my way through the subway system.

My friend and I both agreed that it reminded us of sitting on an airy patio on a warm summer night — which was pretty awesome considering we were bundled up for 38 degrees in February. We already have plans to pick up another bottle and make a sparkling sangria with it.

I would’ve taken pictures while enjoying our Exclusiv Moscato, but there was an overzealous conductor wandering in and out of our car throughout the ride so we decided to play it cool in lieu of being fined for drinking an alcoholic beverage on the train.

Just picture two hot chicks smiling and giggling with water bottles full of delicious Exclusiv Moscato and you’ll get the picture.

Though vodka is usually my drink of choice because I’m not into anything too sweet, I’m definitely adding Exclusiv Moscato to my rotation due to its taste and low price.

Affordable, delicious and sassy. Just like me.

And that’s why Exclusiv Moscato and Mely are perfect together.

Disclosure: This post is based on my experience getting my drink on with Exclusiv Moscato, which was given to me by Exclusiv. No request to share any particular point of view was made. All opinions expressed here are strictly my own.

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I have never had a happy Valentine’s Day. For the last fifteen years I’ve spent Valentine’s Day one of two ways: Sitting at home, single and depressed, wishing I had someone to share a romantic dinner with OR coupled and disappointed because one of my many asshole boyfriends couldn’t be bothered to plan a romantic Valentines date, or ANY date for that matter.

This year I decided to take matters into my own hands.

And there will be drag queens.

Why should Valentines Day just be for couples? Why do singles so often feel the need to hide in their apartments on February 14th, pining for what they don’t have? Why does a woman have to wait for a man to have a kickass Valentine’s Day?!

I’m taking a stand!

This Valentine’s Day I’m going to have a depression-free, drag queen filled dinner at LIPS in NYC and I’m cordially inviting my fellow fabulously single ladies to join me. Because nothing screams fun like drag queens! If you live in the NYC area and are tired of shitty Valentine’s Day memories, come make a non-shitty one with me this February 14th.

Let’s celebrate being fabulously single together!!!

I have a whole lot of love in my life and damn it I intend to celebrate it this Valentine’s Day, Mely style!

Leave me a comment if you want to join. I’m calling to make reservations today so speak ASAP.

Ridonkulously good drag queen filled Valentine’s Day blog post to follow…

XOXO,

Drag Queen loving Mely

Edit: Reservations have been made for myself and 5 other fabulous ladies for 8pm on 2/14/12. It will be EPIC! Feel free to make your own reservation and party with us on Valentine’s Day! Lips NYC has a special $29.95 Prix-Fixe menu that evening or you can order anything off the regular menu. Save some room for their world famous frozen cosmos!!

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What a long strange trip it’s been from there to here. In the beginning, losing everything I had and everything I knew was devastating. Becoming a single mom seemed like the worst type of punishment imaginable.

A punishment for a crime I didn’t even commit since my ex was the one who broke all of his promises along with my heart.

After he left me, I felt defeated. I’d been shattered into a million pieces that I couldn’t imagine ever being able to put back together.

I was terrified. I was broken. I was in the darkest of dark places.

Yes, me. Goofy, bacon-loving Mely. The single mom who inspires people and makes wieners stand at attention. I once was curled up in a ball in my closet with no intentions of ever leaving, after I’d exhausted myself trying to save what I thought my ex and I had. By the time I’d finally accepted that I was the only one fighting I didn’t have any fight left in me.

Back then I might’ve called myself weak or a quitter as I spent countless days sleeping. In those days getting out of bed and facing my new reality was simply too much for me to do.

What I realize now is that even in those dark and defeating moments I wasn’t a quitter because my mind was still churning. There was a fire inside of me that even my ex couldn’t snuff out, though he tried back then and has tried countless times since.

I wasn’t quitting, I was waiting. Regaining my strength while the dust settled. Twisting and turning my plans in my head until this single mom’s goal was clear.

Then, when the timing was right, I picked myself up and slowly but surely glued my pieces back together. The friends and family that have appeared before me in the last few years have become my glue. Each and every one of them has helped heal a different part of me.

Putting me back together has truly been a team effort.

It’s been three whole years of glueing but I’ve finally found every last piece of myself that I’d lost. Hell, I even found some pieces of myself that I never knew existed.

At this very moment I am happier than I have ever been.

If I had to end my book now, this would make the perfect happily ever after.

Funny there’s not a Prince in sight.

I can’t tell you exactly how it happened. There was a lot of sex. There was a lot of bacon. And there were a whole lot of lies to sort through to get to where I am today.

But I’m here now.

So for any woman (or man) who is broken hearted…

Who has given up on happiness because it seems too far out of reach…

Who doesn’t believe it will ever get better…

Who thinks they can’t make it or find happiness on their own…

It gets better. And you will too.

Not overnight, not without hard work, and not without a whole lot of soul searching.

If you’re anything like me it might also take a lot of running around in circles, a lot of second guessing, and a lot of throwing yourself vagina first at men, including your selfishassholewhorefucker of an ex.

But one day you’ll wake up and you’ll no longer feel like something is missing. You’ll no longer search for a person, place or thing to fill that void inside of you.

One day that empty space will be filled with all the memories and relationships you’ve created along your very own journey. And you too will be happy.

***********

This weekend I bought myself a car and as I drove it home from the dealer I cried.

I haven’t talked about it here, but anyone that knows me in real life knows what a huge deal this is for me because for the last three years I have been without a car to call my own. I’d gotten myself into such a mess while with my ex and even after he left that I couldn’t afford one and so here I sat, having to depend on other people to let me borrow one or help me when I needed to get myself or my son somewhere.

It sucked donkeyballs and quite frankly I felt inadequate as a mother because of it.

But after a fuckton of hard work this single mom was finally able to purchase her very own car this weekend.

No it was not a Ford, although it would’ve been if I’d found one for as good of a deal as the car I did get.

While I drove down Route 9 with the radio at a deafening volume, as the tears streamed down my face, my heart felt so full it might explode. I was finally free. After three long years I’d turned the page to a bright and shiny new chapter in my life.

No more depending on other people. No more looking over my shoulder. No more attachment to my past mistakes or the mistakes my ex made. A fresh start filled with independence and freedom.

I’ve finally made it.

I did this.

And you can too.

Continue reading »]]> Look out fellas, there’s a new trend in town that you might want to prepare yourselves for. Especially if you’re planning on going anywhere near a vagina.

Shit’s about to get foxy.

Or feathery. Whichever new trend your lady’s bikini line prefers.

Fox fur and feathers are a vagina’s best friend.

Personally I don’t think there’s a better way for a single girl like me to keep her vagina warm this winter than by waxing it completely bare and then gluing a semi-permament bright pink fox fro to it.

Say hello to the Foxy Bikini, Completely Bare Spa’s latest creation to accentuate your vagina. It comes in a variety of colors, lasts about 3-5 days and will cost you $225.

I would rock the hell out of that hot pink vagina-fro all winter long.

Not into gluing fluorescent animal pelts to your ladybits? How about feathers?

For a mere $195 the work of art above that is the Carnivale Bikini can be yours and your vagina’s.

Prices include waxing, by the way.

I don’t know about you but I need to feather my vagina immediately. Not even joking. If one of you will sponsor my trip to get waxed and feathered at Completely Bare I will blog, tweet and vlog the crap out of my entire experience for your entertainment.

Now that’s a Fabulously Single adventure waiting to happen if I ever saw one!

What I’d really like is to go all out and adorn my vagina with an elaborate combination of the two that we could call the Feathered Headdress Bikini…

Even better? Let’s take vaginal adornments to a whole new delicious level with something I like to call the Bacon Bikini…

Want to find out more about these VAG-TASTIC trends? Watch the video from Spa Week below.

Live in New York city and want to get waxed and feathered indefinitely? A little Hot Spa Moms birdie told me that if you purchase a year’s worth of unlimited laser hair removal at Completely Bare, you’ll receive a FREE Foxy Bikini or Carnivale with EVERY session!

Cost of Unlimited Bikini Laser Hair Removal for a year: $1000. Cost of Unlimited Brazilian Laser Hair Removal: $2000.

Unfortunately I don’t have that kind of money to spend on pubic care but maybe you’re fabulous enough that you do!

Mention SPA WEEK when you call to book. This offer is only valid to my New York City fox-fro lovin’ gals. Call toll-free for an appointment or consultation: 1.855.366.6060.

The feather adorned vagina above is none other than the FABULOUS Michelle Joni Lapidos, Director of Social Media & Editor of Spa Week Daily. Show her some love for living it up with the Carnivale and being awesome enough to rock those Spandex Leather pants! You go, girl! XOXO

Disclaimer: I was not compensated in any way, shape or form for this post. I just happen to think bright pink fur and feathers are the perfect accompaniment to a freshly waxed vagina. Opinions here are strictly my own, and my hoohah’s.

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My son has recently developed a routine that involves having breakfast with his father on most Sundays, even though our custody arrangement deems Sundays are mine.

You see, I’m not a bitter bitch. I know the pangs of being without my son for three days each week; I also know his father feels those same pangs when he is without our son for four. So when he asked if he could take Aidan out to breakfast a few weeks ago I agreed and their Sunday breakfast dates have now become an almost every Sunday thing.

Usually they go for bagels and then for a quick visit to Toys R Us to wander the aisles, but when Aidan came home today he informed me that they had gone back to his father’s house and had a BIIIIIIIIIGGG (his exaggeration, not mine) breakfast that “the other woman” had cooked for them.

Probably on my god damn cookware I left there.

Eggs. Bacon. Chocolate Chip Pancakes.

Turns out she’s a regular Bitchy Crocker.

Ok, Ok. I know I should give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s not bitchy at all. Maybe she’s a very nice woman. I mean, Aidan seems to adore her.

I don’t know what she knew and what she didn’t know about me when my ex started cheating on me with her. I should probably feel sorry for her since she has to spend the rest of her orgasmless days with my ex. Unless he somehow discovered the clitoris since our relationship ended.

While I love my life now more than I ever did back then, there is a part of me that doesn’t like her simply because it feels like she is playing a cheaper version of me. Like I was recast and she was hired to play me in the soap opera that was my old life and I’m now sitting back watching it all without any say in what she does or how it happens.

I envy her, even though I don’t really want her life. Maybe I just envy her contentment, when I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable being tied down to a life like that again.

When my son told me they had breakfast together today, a breakfast she cooked, it made my heart ache, though I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m so busy that my son and I rarely sit down and eat meals together anymore. Maybe it’s just because cooking for my son is my job and the fact that she can do it too, and perhaps even better, made me feel slightly threatened.

While I may not be able to make perfect eggs or Chocolate Chip Pancakes, I make one hell of a rasher of bacon. It’s the one thing I can cook and my son loves it.

“Did you eat lots of bacon, buddy? How was it?” I asked, with fingers crossed that she didn’t make better bacon than mine.

“She made it too crispy, Mommy. I didn’t like it.”

And with those words I smiled the most satisfied smile.

It was then I finally realized I don’t need to be jealous of that bitch who burned the bacon.

My perfectly cooked bacon and I are doing just fine.